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Monday, March 22, 2010

Reboots, take 2

So, it recently came to my attention that there is another movie out there in desperate need of a remake/reboot/whatever. Unfortunately, it's a movie that no studio would want to touch with a pole of any length and no actor would dare affix their name to, given that its name has become synonymous with a complete money-hole of a movie that ruins careers (also known as an "EPIC MOVEE FAIL LOLZ" to you internet types). That movie is... "Waterworld". That's right, the movie that was intended to be Kevin Costner's magnum opus but ended up resoundingly putting an end to his career (at least for quite a long time). What's sad is that this movie had all the markings of a great movie: post-apocalyptic, lots of action, dysptopian society, crazy gill-man mutants (okay, maybe that's not exactly a hallmark of greatness, but whatever. It has potential). The movie even has pirates. Heck, they even brought Joss Whedon out to help rewrite parts of the script. How can you go wrong? Obviously somehow they did since the movie flopped like a sumo wrestler off the high dive. From what I gather, much of this was due to Kevin Costner's being kind of a diva and the whole "they built a giant metal city in the ocean that sank in a hurricane" thing (amongst other setbacks). The result was a movie that is at best amusingly bad and at worst mediocre and annoying. What it leaves you with, however, is a sense that it could have been done so much better had it only had better actors, better scripting, etc. And so I formally propose that this movie, so brimming with potential, be given the second look it deserves and be made into the movie it always wanted to be, free from actors trying to make a legend for themselves, free from horribly bad money allocation (I'm looking at you, Costner's CG hairline!), and free to become the seriously awesome movie it really ought to be.

*EDIT* I forgot to mention the fact that it also relates to a rather timely issue, namely that of global warming. In the movie, the fact that everything is covered with water is due in large part to said phenomenon. Whether or not you put any stock in global warming or are a global warming agnostic like myself, you have to admit that it's relevant.

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