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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Trendy Grit

So, from all appearances the current growing trend in Hollywood is giving movies and movie franchises extreme makeovers. That's right. I'm talking about the gritty reboot. The idea is to revitalize waning series of movies by completely rejecting everything that has already happened and starting over with a darker, harder, grittier film. The first major (i.e. made buttloads of money) example of this strategy came with Batman Begins. So far, most gritty reboots have tended to be within the comicbook movie genre (if you can call it that) although I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing it happen with other franchises. After all, they've already done basically the same thing with Star Trek. As such, I feel that I should offer my input on a few movie series I think deserve a gritty reboot:

The Princess Bride: Okay, so technically this would be a gritty remake not a gritty reboot, but whatever. Close enough. I'm thinking post-apocalyptic. That would certainly go a long way towards explaining the ROUSes (and the giant dude...and the guy with six fingers...and the eels...) I also suggest casting Denzel Washington as Inigo Montoya. While I understand it's a little bit of a stretch and he's already done a post-apocalyptic movie, it's also awesome.

Star Wars: If anybody needs a gritty reboot, it's Star Wars. I'm not suggesting a reboot of the original trilogy. That would be like saying someone should paint over the Mona Lisa and do it again, but better, with fewer eyebrows and a more enigmatic smile. No, what needs a gritty makeover is the disowned episodes I-III. If Anakin wasn't emo (and badly acted), Obi-wan was more hardcore, the enemies less laughable/lame/chinese, and Jar-Jar was either non-existent or he was more Cajun than Jamaican and if he hadn't gotten kicked out for being horrendously clumsy but rather because he had a tendency to get in fights and knife people whenever he was drunk (which was always), then you might end up with 3 movies worthy of being part of the Star Wars legacy. Oh, and some character and plot development might be nice too. Huge epic battles are great and all, but not much use when nobody knows what the hell is going on.

Care Bears: Come on. How would that not be awesome?

Well, that's all I can come up with for the moment, although don't be terribly surprised if you see more in the future. Feel free to comment with some suggestions of your own. In the meantime, I'm going to go off and continue planning the gritty reboot of this blog.



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