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Friday, April 22, 2005

The Announcement

I do believe that I mentioned in a previous post many moons ago that I was going to make an announcement, and I suppose the time has come. It's really going to be rather superfluous now, as most if not all of you already know about this particular piece of news, but whatever. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...or something like that. Um.....yeah. Anyways, my announcement:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to announce that commencing this fall Benjamin Phillips will be joing the undergraduate class of 2009 at the illustrious and wonderful....*drum roll please...thank you....that's quite can stop now....dangit Fuller! Just put the @#*$% drumsticks down before I have to come over there and vivissect you all over your pretty lil' drumset...thank you*..ahem, as I was saying, this coming year I will officially be a proud member of the 2009 undergraduate class of none other than the lovely Duke University.

....forgive me, but I must.


Yes, this means that I'll be stickin' around for at least the next four years, which is perfectly fine with me. For all those of you were looking forward to finally getting rid of me, I have this to say: MWUA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ....*ahem* Sorry 'bout that. Had an evil moment. Won't happen again, well, not for a little while at least.

I actually spent the majority of the day today over at one of the happy open house days they had over at Duke. Now, the thing about these days is that they are designed to sell Duke to students who haven't decided where they're going yet. In spite of this fact, however, I decided to go to see what sort of opportunities I might want to take advantage of next year and I really did learn a lot (especially from that guy's shirt that said "P is for Porn". Now THAT was educational). Here are just a few of the things I learned:
-I learned that no matter which seat you pick in any lecture hall or auditorium anywhere, it will always squeak when you move.
-I learned that large men should not wear suits on very hot days when they have to give tours.
-I learned that there is something about buses that makes all bus-drivers look grumpy, apathetic, and like they might just eat you if you say anything.
-I learned that the chairs at colleges are designed to keep you awake during lectures.
-I learned that high school men's soccer teams should not be allowed to go to Amsterdam with only their coach to supervise them.
-I learned that people always pay more attention to a presentation if you give them free stuff.
-I learned that even from a medium distance, without my glasses all middle-aged balding men in suits look the same.
And finally:
-I learned that students who wear shirts like the one I mentioned back up there just because "it fits their mood" should be avoidied at all costs.

While we're speaking of Duke, I got an email from them after I was informed of my admission of which I took special note. The reason for this attention was because the subject of this particular email appeared in my inbox as follows: "Contact information for current Duke stud...". Needless to say, this intrigued me. Who was this Stud? How did he get to be the official Duke stud? And most importantly, why in the nine hells were they sending me his contact information? Was I chosen to be his apprentice, or did they think I would want to...take advantage of what he had to offer (I certainly didn't remember putting that on my application)? Either way, one thing was clear: this was one email I had to read at all costs. With trembling finger I opened up the treacherous compilation of bits and bytes....only to find, much to the dismay of my curiosity, that the email was ACTUALLY entitled "Contact information for current Duke students." *sigh* So anticlimactic.... Oh well. Maybe that email is still floating around out there for me...maybe someday...You never know.


Blogger Aaron (ya that annoining little 7th graider) said...

well congradulations what r u gona study? i know i should probably know this but i just simply don't

11:20 PM  
Blogger gelfling said...

"I learned that students who wear shirts like th one I mentioned back up there just because "it fits their mood" should be avoidied at all costs."

....but why?

1:21 AM  
Blogger The George said...

hahaha... the duke stud is your future roommate.

1:43 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Joanna will be oh so happy.

6:00 PM  
Blogger heartlikeaglass said...

does the duke stud have an older brother? no, i'm just kidding. no, i-!

10:46 PM  
Blogger gelfling said...

mmm.. stud for jo... :D...

1:51 PM  
Blogger PlushToy said...

Don't you mean stud for Ben? He is, after all, going to be my roommate. How else am I supposed to keep myself amused?

9:38 PM  
Blogger gelfling said...

whoa.. dude.. back off my stud..

how are you sposed to keep yourself amused?? be creative dangit!!

10:16 PM  
Blogger PlushToy said...

Be creative...with the stud?

10:52 PM  
Blogger gelfling said...

.......hon.. i'm afraid you ain't gettin the picture.. this "stud" is officially MY territory, therefore MINE to be creative with, MINE to be amused with, and NOT ben's... get the picture? :D

10:57 PM  
Blogger heartlikeaglass said...

...but still he is BEN'S roommate. or are you gonna take over his room, too?

9:18 AM  
Blogger GrasshopperGod said...

"...they might just eat you if you day anything"

I assume you didnt have to pass either a typing and/or spelling course in order to get in...? ;)

Congrats, man. As happy as i am for you, this does, of course, mean that we can no longer ever possibly be friends, acquaintences, business partners, or lovers. Fate, it seems, has set us in direct opposition to each other...for some strange reason. Then again, each hero must have his nemesis. So is this the beginning of your as yet unacted upon blog title of "How to Conguer the World in 3 Easy Steps"? Is Ben to be the world's next evil genius?! Will the Duke Stud be the key to his diabolical plan?! If so, what color cape will he wear and exactly how attractive will he be?! For all this and more tune in next time, same Ben-time, same Ben-channel!

1:20 PM  
Blogger heartlikeaglass said...

ahem - far as typing and/or spelling: acquaintences? conguer?

8:09 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperGod said...

Yeah, yeah. I swear it's a 'q' on some of them older keyboards. Or mebbe it's just a bad font translation...yeah, that's it: font's all screwed up.

(See if i ever comment on your blog ever again... ;P)

10:51 AM  
Blogger PlushToy said...

Hey, I said nothing, nothing! Just because the irony of making several mildly egregious (how's that for contradictory?) spelling errors in your comment on my equally egregious spelling errors was rather hilarious and someone took the opportunity to capitalize off of it doesn't mean you should completely withdraw from showering forth your most wonderfully rich and appreciated opinions and thoughts upon this humble blog of mine.

Oh, and thank you. I'm sorry that we can no longer be friends, but I suppose having you as a mortal enemy is better than having you just ignore me and pretend like I'm dead to you. At least enemies interact and all that. Just please, for the love of all that is sweet and holy and the sake of all the world who still retains their eyesight, do NOT make me wear spandex. Such a thing is simply too horrible to be imagined or even joked about. Horror of that degree should never be unleashed upon this world until the day of judgement comes and even then......*shudder* Excuse me, I have to go wash my brain now.

3:01 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperGod said...


No worries, mate. So my spelling is just as bad as yours. Ever heard of a fatal flaw? It is, after all, necessary for us hero and villain types to have fatal flaws. Keeps the movies suspensful enough to get good ratings...or is that just for the cable series? Yes, i think series get ratings while movies make money. Either way The Man wins...again. What? Oh, sidetracked. Now where was i? Ah yes, spandex... ;)

6:57 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperGod said...

The 'e' button stopped working for a second, i swear. :-P

(variation on a theme. you gotta suck the audience in somehow. you know, keep em involved and everything...sort of like that genius who thought up the whole 'Where's Waldo' and made millions.)

7:01 PM  
Blogger heartlikeaglass said...

(mmmmmmm: capitalism...)

10:53 PM  
Blogger PlushToy said...

Hey John, ever seen the movie Unbreakable? 'Cause you're practically quoting it and it's starting to freak me out. You're messing with my head man. Stop it before I have to go blow something up to clear my mind. pretty.....

Oh, and just wondering, but how is The Man connected with Them? I know there has to be a link there, I just can't see it....

11:51 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperGod said...

"Unbreakable"? Saw it a long time ago. Dont remember much, but i think i recall what you're talking about. Ooh, ooh, can i be Bruce Willis??? He's the man! So that leaves the black guy with lots of hair. Hm. That might be a problem. I think you might be even whiter than i am...

The Man is either the ringleader, the mascot, the posterboy, or the singular embodiment of 'Them' the same way in which a corporation is recognized by the law as a single legal entity that is, in truth, comprised of many different individuals. But that's just a guess. Wait, since i'm in college does that automatically make it an educated guess? Since i'm in college does that mean ANY guess I make is an educated guess??? That's kinda cool. Anyone need an educated guess about something?

3:54 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperGod said...

(Hm. I notice we've managed to weed out the non-college commentors. Except Alyssa. You go alyssa!)

3:59 PM  
Blogger gelfling said...

wow.. i actually had no idea that this conversation was going on.. is probably over by now dangit.. oh well.. i'm gonna go lust after ben's roommate now..

3:37 PM  

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